I believe you described your experience with Tiled and not Defold Tilemap Editor, right?
I am asking just to be sure, I still think Tiled is better than built-in Defold Tilemap Editor, especially because it has at least some auto-tiling. Auto tiling was many time requested in Defold, but it is something that could be done in many ways. Latest example by @astrochili described here is a great example.
I didn’t used though RPG Maker’s tilemap Editor, so can’t compare. I am eager check it our though 
If Tiled is not suitable for you - did you try mentioned LDTK or Tilesetter? Tilesetter is a pretty modern approach for tilesource and tilemap making and has export to Defold.